Winter 1915-1916
5.45 a.m. Called. Where's my mug of cocoa? No cocoa on awakening; no satisfaction. Mafische!
6.00 a.m. Satisfaction - with burnt tongue into the bargain. Too cold to get up. Resolve to breakfast in bed. Sleep wooed anew.
6.05 a.m. Rude awakening. Clothes flung onto floor by too officious comrades. Lie on clothes on floor. Sleep sought ...
6.10 a.m. ... vainly; alleged comrade pours cold water down backbone.
6.12 a.m. Punch wrong man's head; the stupid fool's temperature being taken; thermometer broken; Sister furious. What a life!
6.15 a.m. Set gramophone going to console myself.
6.16 a.m. More trouble; 'No music till seven o'clock.
6.20 a.m. Wash. Find two eggs in the pantry - no apparent owner; find pin; extract nourishment from eggs.
6.55 a.m. Orderly arrives. Two eggs missing for bed-patients. Great scandal. Who's the Hun? No trace.
7.05 a.m. Clue! Somebody discovers guilty pin ... I take it to Sister. Thieving suspected.
7.06 a.m. Sister finds more clues - round my mouth, too. Get another telling-off.
7.30 a.m. Porridge goes round. The 'Jocks' like salt flavouring, Southerners prefer sugar. Put sugar in salt-cellar and vice versa. Great joke!
7.35 a.m. No complaints. Discover I did the right thing in error. Everybody satisfied. O cursed spite! (Hamlet).
7.40 a.m. Off to get more bread and butter for my breakfast. Buzz of whispering as I go.
7.43 a.m. Return. Sit down on a plate of porridge. Back view looks very sick. Furious.
7.45 a.m. Sister grumbles at me for spoiling my blue trousers. Resolve to sulk.
7.50 a.m. Sulking.
8.30 a.m. Sulking.
8.35 a.m. Charwoman sweeping the ward. Steal broom while she's moving locker.
8.36 a.m. Hide broom in somebody's bed. Good joke, this!
8.38 a.m. Owner of bed hits me on cranium with broom.
8.39 a.m. Charwoman calls me names. Sister says I have no right to interfere with work. Told off again!
8.49 a.m. Bump on head like turkey's egg. Dirty work, this!
9.00 a.m. Go down for post.
9.05 a.m. Get letters. None for me. One parcel for Sunny Jim. Open it for a joke, take out cake, fill parcel up with cotton wool..
9.15 a.m. Hide cake in Sunny Jim's bed.
9.20 a.m. Trick discovered - am kicked from rear; very hurtful. No one has any sense of humour. Sulk.
10.00 a.m. Sulking.
11.00 a.m. Light cigarette.
11.02 a.m. Told off. 'No smoking from nine till one.' Forgot.
11.30 a.m. Go for a ride in the ward bath-chair.
11.35 a.m. Collide with table; smash vase of flowers.
11.36 a.m. Disappear to grounds.
11.40 a.m. Told off by Sergeant-Major for walking in the grounds in slippers instead of boots.
11.45 a.m. Return to ward. Another telling-off for breaking vase. Sulk.
11.55 a.m. Still sulking.
12.05 p.m. Light cigarette; it will console me.
12.10 p.m. ! ! ! ! !
12.30 p.m. Dinner.
1.00 p.m. Sleep
3.45 p.m. Rude awakening; am ordered to fetch tea from cook-house. Go. Bad luck coming back ...
3.50 p.m. ... Bootlace undone; fall over with can of tea.
4.00 p.m. Told off by (alleged) comrades.
4.05 p.m. Sent for more tea. (Kipper awaiting my return).
4.25 p.m. Still waiting at the cook-house. Told off by Sergeant for spilling tea.
4.30 p.m. Arrived at ward with tea. Comrades parched. Told off again by all. Somebody eaten my kipper by mistake (! ! !) What a life!
8.00 p.m. Bed-time. (Nobody loves me).
MALCOLM SAVAGE TREACHER, SERGT. H.A.C.
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